Is There Really a Finish Line?
Is There Really a Finish Line?
A meditation on how to manage ambition, using Barbie’s misconceptions as a lens.
Well here we are folks, my second ever B.Y.E. publication. A lot has happened since we last spoke:
- Trip to Italy where I saw Bob Dylan LIVE!
- My first ever experience working on a film set.
- Started two new jobs.
- Opened B.Y.E. up to guest writers and contributors making it a community stack.
I can easily say that I’ve had one of the best summers of my life. I had so much fun and experienced great things. I hope all of you can say the same!
With that being said, if it wasn’t already obvious, I’ve been pretty busy. I would have liked to get more writing done, but sometimes life happens and you have to put some things to the side.
But even then, I still felt smothered in responsibility and commitments. I always manage to spread myself too thin and let my seemingly bottomless pit of ambition consume me. Sometimes I lay awake at night, unable to sleep, bombarded with an endless stream of ideas. Then I wake up feeling like I need to catch my breath, having almost drowned in that stream.
Being Intentional With Your Goals
Landing a new part-time job was awesome, and it was definitely the right move. Signing on to be an intern for a start-up though, that was the killer. At this age I think a lot of us just want to accumulate as much experience as possible. It’s great to want to add some bullet points on your resume, but focus is important. We have to have direction and intention.
If I really would have stopped to think about what my goals were before applying for an unpaid internship, maybe I would have realized that committing to building this newsletter could have been just as beneficial in comparison. Considering that it was a content creation internship, my time would have been much better spent focusing on creating content for this audience, which I have more of a personal connection to, than someone else’s. And of course, I would have still gained that valuable experience on paper.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s easy to get carried away with doing what you’ve been told to do or what you’re expected to do. What might be hard for some people, or for me at least, is realizing that everything you’re already doing is enough.
Yo, have you watched Barbie, broh?
It’s easily one of the greatest gender commentary films I’ve seen in a while.
I think that it’s really a shame that so many interpret it as “man-hating.” If they looked past their own gender insecurity they might realize what the film tries to do for masculinity. The movie comments equally on what it means to identify as a man as it does on feminism.
Ken’s character arc is all about the importance of simply being yourself and not living according to any social norms. It discourages us from investing our egos into our ability to conform to those norms.
You're not your girlfriend. You're not your house. You're not your mink. You're not even beach.
Once you free yourself from the confines of these expectations that the world dumps on you, your masculinity can become much more liberating than it can be imprisoning under these widely accepted norms.
The term “toxic masculinity” does a disservice to masculinity itself. While this term does accurately represent some (unfortunately), it doesn’t represent others. Masculinity in and of itself is simply accepting yourself for what you happen to be (at least that’s what I think it should be). It’s about not depending on external and often futile things to define yourself as a person.
Once you’ve achieved that form of masculinity, you may even realize that you don’t necessarily even need to identify as a man to be “masculine” by the definition I’ve established. Anyone can and should achieve a level of self-acceptance that allows them to unapologetically be themselves. Whether it’s writing poetry, watching football, enjoying fashion, riding horses, or pretending that you are, you’re free to call yourself “masculine.”
We attach so much meaning and importance to these labels and depend on them to define us. When really their merely just that: labels. We created them and they don’t really matter at the end of the day.
“How does this help me as an artist?”
Well since you crazed creatives still insist on making this about yourselves and another label you’re desperately clinging to, let me just finish up with this:
Call it what you will, but you have the same freedom that enlightened Ken does at the conclusion of Barbie to create and produce what you wish as an artist. You are by no means required to confine your creativity to any artistic norms or taboos.
What kind of an artist would you be if you were constantly stopping yourself from taking risks and pushing boundaries? Isn’t that what being an artist is all about? Isn’t the artist’s life just one big risk?
Now more than ever, we need creatives that push boundaries and attempt to redefine genres and art forms. Mass produced “content” and formulaic productions are a plague to the industry. Don’t be afraid to stand out and be yourself.
And you definitely should not use your art, or your desire to be an artist, as an excuse to question/doubt your masculinity.
Moreover, when it comes to your ambition, remember to chill. It’s really easy to think that you’re not doing enough. Western society programs us to think that we constantly need to be productive. It’s an unrealistic and unhealthy mindset that’s motivated by capitalist ideals.
A part of Ep. 201 of 2 Bears, 1 Cave that I listened to recently spoke to this point perfectly. I pulled a specific quote below, but feel free to skip to 1:21 and listen until about 1:28 for the full conversation.
I do have this inner-voice that—when I wake up—if I don’t have like a semi-busy day…I feel like I’m not doing anything with my life. Where I go, “what, am I just gonna sit here?” Like, I feel like I’m wasting my time. — Bert Kreischer
Ignoring Bert’s drug analogy and his narcissistic response to the idea of reading, what he says really made me think of my own ambition.
He is a super successful stand-up comedian who has recently entered Hollywood. He goes on multiple world tours—I seriously don’t remember a time where he isn’t promoting one of his tours. And yet, he still compares himself to his peers, and feels as though enjoying time for himself would be wasted.
When does it end? What level of success should give us the right to say, “Okay, I made it. I can finally rest and enjoy the pay off from all of my hard work.”
If we aren’t careful, these beautiful careers we’ve chosen can become more for the impossible-to-satisfy monster that is the capitalistic machine, and less for that little kid in all of us who dreamed of making a living out of doing something they loved.
Make beautiful art, create amazing things, and do it for you. Only for you.
Onward.
Alessandro is B.Y.E.’s Founder/Editor in Chief.
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